evan jones is the pride of our nations only reliable news channel. no matter how graphic or scandalous a story, evan will deliver all facts in a clean neutral style. he’s got that special talent of appearing impartial without seeming cold.. there’s something oddly human about the man’s style.. no one can put their finger on it.. a subtle microscopic arching of an eye brow for ominous news, or an even slighter lowering of the voice if an event is terribly sad. his presentation is terrifically nuanced.

in the eyes of his wife this makes him a dream lover. sherry loathes sugary men…evan’s cool remove is enormously attractive to her.. his utter lack of emotional gush is exactly what she can trust…evan’s not a dry man…but he’s not wet either.

the news today is particularly grim..a country only a plane ride way from here is being bombed to smithereeens…. motherless children panic into the lens of a high definition digital camera. we hear about our own value on the stock market falling to an all time low.

usually evan communicates all this dark carbon in a way that keeps him well to the side of a story, but earlier on in the week his wife drops a bombshell all of her own. she’s leaving…sherry doesn’t quite know why herself, but she’s definitely packing to pursue some sort of self imposed experiment on herself .

a final story comes through about an old doll in middle england who’d always put others before herself. she’s been found dead from hyperthermia cause no one cared enough to check up on her… evan thinks he’s getting through this pithy news just fine, but because of sherry doing a number on him, he’s completely out of his own body. he loves that woman and dreads her not being around anymore… a trace of a tear wells up in his left eye and explodes gently down the side of one cheek live on air…he doesn’t even realise…he’s on autopilot…the producer in the control room picks up on it instantly. in the heat of an intuitive moment, he breaks the rule of keeping the camera static on newsreaders, and urges his technician to glide in up close..evan keeps reading and reading and a whole nation sits in their ikea living rooms transfixed…the strong forthright lighting of the studio illuminates the river of salty tear rivering it’s ways towards his moving kissable mouth…they think evan is crying for a poor old lady who after a life of service to others dies alone uncared for, but they’re wrong, it’s himself he’s crying for, though it hardly matters, cause for the first time in decades this smug self satisfied country is humbled, emotionally woken and brought together as one. no newsreader in the history of television had ever done that before.

almost immediately afterwards, evan along with his producer will be fired for lack of composure by the powers that be.. he’ll be headhunted by other news channels, but will find himself happier leaving london to lecture in various aspects of performativity to advanced drama and media students around southern california.

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