Category Archives: london

if these walls could talk

tanya tampon goes down in history as one of england’s trailblazing female punk rock icons. she was the first to tackle feminist issues in pop music.. her smash hit ‘gonna make my boyfriend bleed’  made her no money until recently … Continue reading

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2017

in the car coming into london tonight, we were cruising down the finchley road enjoying how heavy winter mist make streetlights glow like olden days of chimney smoke. riding along through the north part of town, george michael drifted into … Continue reading

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billy and benny’s marriage guidance clinic

london girls used to be the worst, until a wide boy entrepreneur called danny reynolds overheard a ding dong goin on between two irate neighbours. one was an old homophobe, the other an old fagg. insults were flying when the old homophobe … Continue reading

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george michael

there’s a lady i know who worked for many decades as a nurse, and then decided on early retirement to become a therapist, and when i asked her why, she said because many people coming into hospital, their ailments began … Continue reading

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santa clause at the royal albert hall

three tall elegant backing singers hid their seething envy behind smiles and perfect harmonies..a faceless professional piano player kept his head down while privately thinking how his own songs were far better than this nonsense. a cordless expensive guitar player … Continue reading

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make the money talk back

alan watson was a natural with money…he’d gather a little pile of it up off the floorboards, blow life over its dusty gold surface till it sang a song and expand many times its original size. he had absolutely zero … Continue reading

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beryl’s sandwich bar

beryl deliberately got pregnant at sixteen. the crush she had on jimmy overwhelmed her, and when the blood hit the fan, not only did her parents move home to separate the young lovers by four hundred miles, she was also … Continue reading

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the greatest rock n roll story never told.

clarence, who had a thing for cream crumply raw silk suits, set up his music company with only one thing in mind…pleasure…such was his clear vision, that every aspect of his empire revolved only around feeling good. there would be … Continue reading

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garry’s circumcision

for a long while garry wheeler avoided having girlfriends…a fairly decent looking man who would’ve had no problem getting laid if not for his tight angry red festering foreskin. every stage of solving this problem fried garry’s nerves… talking to … Continue reading

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cornelia having a shit in the woods

of all the divas, cornelia was the most elegant and airbrushed.. a marvellous example of edited image in the name of maximum market reach. she’s a perfect blend of mythology and plausibility .. her singing voice warm and real, yet … Continue reading

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