ikea record shelves

578a87dc4f9147f9bf1b4f4566abae91a closely knit global community of vinyl purchasing hipsters had a meltdown discovering supermarkets now stock their onetime niche product.. big black gramophone discs are turning up on shelves in sainsburys, urban outfitters and john lewis..

and talking of shelves..this new shame within the vinyl record community hits ikea hard.. they’d had a boom period with their expedit record cabinets for over five years.. no other product had become so synonymous with ikea’s strong brand.. but now the word was out.. vinyl records no longer cut it as a badge for eclectic alternative living… they’re deeply naff and very very july 2011… today’s hipsters are presently getting into reel to reel tape recorders for a far more visually lush experience… the analogue magnetic tape is reassuringly hard to come by, and better still, damp air destroys it through oxidisation, therefor specialised dehumidifying interiors are essential. many hardcore hipsters forbid the drinking of steaming hot liquid beverages around their rigs.. instead one sucks on boiled fruit flavoured sweets such as spangles.

our world is once again strewn with lorry loads of unwanted vinyl. driveways and pavements are blocked by mountains of ikea cabinets heavily pregnant with big black obsolete gramophone discs. folk who can’t afford to heat their homes as easily as others, now use this roof high furniture fallout for wall insulation. even our government have taken a load of it off the shoulders of hipsters to use as sound proofing in top secret ministry of defence buildings down by the river thames.

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One Response to ikea record shelves

  1. Very amusing. It’s only a matter of time. I like that photo too. I’m sure his girlfriend is trying to disassociate herself from him.

    Like

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