rich tea biscuits

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derek?.. are you awake darling….. i’m thinking of scaling everything down to rich tea biscuits. i know it’s bit of a bombshell to drop on you with them coming again tomorrow, but it’s you i married, not your family.. honestly derek, i climbed a culinary everest making white chocolate cheesecake last week with hardly a thank you from any of them.. every time they’re here they inhale all our champagne truffles without ever savouring a moment of them. one is simply filled with a compulsion to scale everything right back to rich tea biscuits. if it unsettles the plebs, then good.. if they never come again, then even better…like i say derek, it’s you i married..not them. 

oh margaret.. i do love you. what a gas to have you in my life. you’re a fireball who’d roll around the planet for anyone, but god help any customer taking the piss. i love you.. do whatever feels right my lovely… just one thing though… please don’t call the cunts plebs.. it’s a bit on the nose margaret… after all… if they’re plebs, then i’m a pleb too… 

you’re right.. you are a pleb.. i love you anyway derek forsyth… goodnight darling  

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