melvin was never flash or smug… it’s just there was so much money sloshing around and things got a little bit vague. he innocently got used to spending more and more lolly, but it was never a case of showing off. his professional life simply expected him to cut a dash at all times. it felt like bad manners not to rain down a degree of luxury on those around him. he just kept trying and trying by climbing and climbing.. his well earned ascent into that mile high lounge was so gradual he didn’t even realise he was walking high on a tightrope. by the time he climbed up there, he’d gotten used to the thin air and aviation.
melvin resents how the fall came fast without being fast enough to kill him…just three sickening months of watching everything flake away. when the dark day came for eviction, it felt like being dropped down on to a wet muddy football field from only ten feet above, without a clean change of clothes.
the late night love he made in a blue velvet bedroom on millionaire avenue all gone now.. waking up today for the first time in a weird little flat with a snot green avocado toilet/bathroom suite.. the very same kind his laughing mother kept clean during that 1970’s recession when all roads rolled out in front of him.
a new nightmare of learning how to navigate a cut price supermarket for the first time in twenty years, along with those flipping automatic do it yourself check out things that dare you to shoplift as a quicker escape route out of there.
many imagine realising a dream would be all about effort, but they’re wrong. it’s a joy waking up in the morning with a hard on..you live on fresh air with gusts of wind rushing up from behind.. those who never flew by the seat of their pants don’t know how good it feels to let go of logic and head all the way out there. building life up from nothing is fun. the mindbender is sizing down, and having to adapt back to a life you maybe once knew, that somehow no longer becomes you.
common wisdom says we learn from our mistakes, but so what… by the time we’re wise, we’re tired. we don’t just dust ourselves down to build more sodding sandcastles so easily. for that to happen, we move on from dreams, and fall in love with the idea of miracles.