straight acting gay couple


todd and steve mapped their marriage out purely on the grounds of money. they fearlessly bought their one and only home in a super straight neighbourhood where the value of property either went up or stayed stable.

they got a cold reaction on arrival, but word soon got around how they were both reliable investment consultants, and funnily enough, their new neighbours, many of who suffered from status anxiety had maxed out on credit cards to keep up a 21st century beige lifestyle.

one by one steve and todd performed miracles on the shifting sands of these people finances. they’d gone from being rejected to being revered, but then weird shit started to happen… many wives started treating these rich gay men like upmarket fag bangles.. they’d attempt to wear them like fashion accessories, and a handful of husbands found something in todd and steve’s straight acting ways that made them feel at ease and explorative. when alcohol was around it all got a bit tricky, but neither todd or steve ever dared to tap into that energy.. they were shrewd men and knew it could only end in chaos, and anyway, their fetish was order and measured distance in every situation..

over a decade this restraint imbued todd and steve with a warm glow of all times they stayed well away from talking about their personal life… instead they talked about tax and property…insurance….corporate mergers..private healthcare.. it was torture for this furious bi-curious community ..steve and todd also made a policy of never taking up invites to pool parties where inebriated neighbours squared up to one another in swimwear, therefore at all times these straight acting gay men were only ever seen in crisp white or blue collared shirts and nicely fitted trousers.. it drove the woman mad, but the rubbernecking husbands were even worse… the only flesh any of them ever got to see was a good thick hairy forearm in a rolled up tailor made sleeve.

it’s funny.. what money.. will do.

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