ladyboy with a synthesiser


adrian was ripped away from cambridge and badly reframed somewhere in texas, where his father couldn’t resist the money or promotion working at a major oil well. there was only one music shop for a hundred miles.. huge and charmless..nothing like the tiny sweetshops back home.. this place was more of a warehouse selling heavy metal guitars stacked high like baked bean cans in a supermarket.

way back in the arse of the shop was a smaller neglected section devoted to synthesisers, but because most of the music in the area was either heavy metal or country & western, hardly any of this unloved stock was modern keyboard technology..just old deleted editions of dusty analogue relics which were worth an absolute fortune, although the long haired balding store manager was the last to know this…

one day while adrian was messing around back there, a cute tubby guy called mike who played bass in a dull rock group caught the sound of adrian’s weird shit, and had the one and only musical epiphany of his whole life..what if, he thought…what if we had that jet noise and space bubble gurgling away inside our loud sure would make us stand out from the crowd, but then he took one last look at adrian and rejected the idea forever.

it’s not that adrian looked terribly strange…it was more the way he moved..the way he’d gently push his fingers through his thinning hair and bend one knee towards the other while sensitively mastering these obscure old synthesisers at the back of hanks music store…when he managed to squeeze a new sound out of some box, he’d let out a girly giggle and throw his head back.. mike the bass player clocked it and flinched.

somewhere in another parallel universe mike didn’t flinch… he embraced adrian by inviting him into the sanctum of his lightweight heavy metal group. there were cultural teething problems, but a plumped up audience of wide eyed music fans soon put pain relieving ice on those bruised gums… without adrian, they were unremarkable…

in an even farther out parallel universe, mike and adrian embarked on a clandestine love affair…adrian being english was attracted to dusty bollocked american boys in biker boots, while mike, in spite of himself, was drawn to adrian’s gentle effeminate ways…he’d nick name adrian ‘drain‘ which was cute, and also an operative truth.

in an even farther out parallel universe, adrain undergoes a botched sex change which sends the group sky high before killing him. the tragedy elevates them high above all the roxy music comparisons that dog them from day one..they now glow with an aura of real danger along with mythical status.

back down in this universe…mike trudges on with his pointless heavy rock group until the last of them is gold ringed, sprogged up and divorced, while adrian heads back to cambridge in england. heaven only knows what happens to that girly giggling boy.

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