an electrician came by last week to wire up two chandeliers in the kitchen..that sounds a lot more opulent than it’s meant to…for us it was in the spirit of fun..our kitchen is a play area. the acoustics are echoey, so i often play my guitar and bawl my head off in there… it’s where a lot of laughing and arguing occurs..there’s a load of tacky crap about the place and we thought a pair of chandeliers would whack it out even further.IMG_1523 - Version 2

so a handsome long haired hippy electrician comes by, and when i ask him how he gets his work, he put his power tool down for a moment and says, y’know most of it comes when i’m out having fun … i liked that..he didn’t get his work from hustling..it came about through play in the real world, and his diary would just fill itself.

about a month ago, a red headed surgeon came by to give our refrigerator a sex change … she’s now a telephone kiosk..it was all done with laminates ..a tough adhesive material that he usually uses to put signage on the side of white vans … one day he arrived home after a day of that, and had a brainwave, so he sat up all night doing a version of a doctor who tardis on his own fridge.. it worked a treat, and now he’s making extra dosh from that, which goes to show..money’s a thing, but ideas are the currency that precede the pounds.


now that our refrigerator is all gussied up in full drag, i figured it only right to be more mindful of it’s interior, therefore i’ve now installed a ceramic bust of clark gable’s head right in the middle of our groceries … i’m at a point in my life where i just want any remaining hours to be beautiful or fun or strange … just something…anything..oh god.IMG_1869 been reading all about tom waits lately … many find his voice awful hard to take, but his personality and musical vision draws me in. i won’t blether on about that, though one cool aside is how he’d sometimes instruct his musicians not to listen to any music in their cars on the way to recording sessions. he likes their heads clean on arrival. isn’t that fantastic … i mean…if you’re not at least attempting to be unique in some way, why bother?

i’ve discovered a terrific brand of toothpaste called ‘marvis’ that comes in liquorice flavour. even the box looks beautiful. they do a cinnamon flavour one…and ginger… or jasmine… IMG_0229

recently i’ve taken to eating thick sugary porridge in the morning. i like the box that the scotts porridge oats comes in…it has artwork of a handsome bare armed scotsman in a kilt on a hilltop, but thomas protested how the newer brands in the bland boring boxes are far better…he was right..that old muck in the nice box is like wallpaper paste….so now i empty the better oats into a used, but pretty scotts porridge oats box..there’s no reason why the pantry shelves shouldn’t look good.scotts-porage-oats-guy

another fun thing i read was a term in a newspaper ‘virtue signaller’… ‘virtue signallers’ are things we pepper our conversations with.. perhaps a current media or political pariah, in order to give the impression of our own moral cleanliness .. i know i’ve fallen for it.

yesterday while standing at the check out, it occurred to me how deeply i loath garden centres… they are the very agent of a certain paint by number lifestyle. however, the previous day i stumbled on a load of junk in a car park, and found this old wall boxing that maybe once housed a fire extinguisher or something…i took it home, got thomas to nail its balls to the garden wall, and it looks a million dollars better than any spendy crap from the prizzy garden centre..it cost nothing, also it felt a lot more satisfying since it was created freely out of a little imagination….such virtue.IMG_2437

i went out to a one off play in soho last week..a lady friend of mine who’s a barmaid there corralled all her friends into a studio space where we watched a story unfold about a young man coming undone in the grittiness of north london .. it was written by a man who does all the plumbing and odd jobs around soho…lovely man…everybody loves him…he sorts out the water for prostitutes…writers… he’s even unblocked norman tebbits pipes … one day he just decided to lock himself into a room for a month, and didn’t come out until he’d completed his play for the stage…he just knuckled down and puked it up…y’know for all the procrastinating that goes on,that’s what writing is in the end…you just go into a corner,get the fingers down the back of your throat, and you puke it up….. a glamorous life.

me and thomas will be into our twenty eighth year next week. last week we were driving round south kensington where he told me to jump out at the conran shop while he parked the car…so i’m drifting around the furniture, when about fifty yards away i could see thomas ambling in through the door … my first impulse was to try and catch his eye, but then i held back and just decided to watch him like a stalker. it was nice … he looks so great to me… he’s fond of wearing a hat these days, and he’s grown a bushy beard..many hinted that it made him look old or scruffy or the usual stuff, but he wants it, so he’s for wearing it, and that i like..he is his own man.

folk are often surprised when they realise we’ve been together for so long … so am i … how on earth did love rain down so kindly on a trainwreck like me !@£$%^&* IMG_2249 IMG_2406 - Version 2

i’ve taken to placing a jar of fresh flowers in thomas’s bathroom .. i like that he sees them early morning when he’s in the shower or brushing his teeth.. i’ve also jazzed it up with colourful swag commissioned by the mondrian trust. what a frigging homeboy?!IMG_2451

dear reader… i’ll leave now with a film recommendation .. called ‘lambert and stamp’. it’s about the chaotic management behind ‘the who’… if you love your rock and roll, you’ll surely love this … it hits the cinemas this wednesday… harry krishna …mary fairy liquid.

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21 Responses to home…houses…..containers

  1. Steven says:

    I am coveting your refrigerator wrap!


    • hi steven … y’know i’m thrilled with that daft thing….i can still be found just standing there staring at it….it was done really well…very precise and clean..lovely matt laminate…the colours are good.
      big wave to you boys. xxx


  2. Tim says:

    Thomas looks great with the beard and that’s a quality titfer. Loving the fridge, the contents are similar to mine…sparse. Clark Gable? Frankly my dear! More of these diaries please Gregory. Always a great read. Digestive anyone?


  3. Richard Malpas says:

    I enjoyed every minute of that….Your fridge is amazing…..and very tidy inside. I wish we had a kitchen that would accommodate table and chairs…alas…We have in the past and,like yourselves, lived in it…….Tom Waites. You must remember Dave Doré aka DoghouseDave…the guitar man.Tom’s biggest fan. He has a similar singing voice to Tom’s…Throaty and deep. Your Thomas looks splendid with his beard…nice Titfer to boot….and what a brilliant lengthy relationship. You must have something special…Take care, have you got that garden sorted yet..? I bet you haven’t…hahaha…Take care…Stay cool.


    • hi ritchie … we got into the garden last weekend…i’m not into those flippin garden centres though..i’m on the look out for wild flowers and ferns now..natural things…hardy bleeders that’ll come back on their own steam next year…i dunno if you’ve ever noticed in hyde park during mid/late summer,they’ve got loads and loads of yellow lillies everywhere…they’re gorgeous…i’ve got it in my mind to keep an eye out for the gardeners who do that place..i’d like to ask them if they just pull us up a few…they spread like billy-o , so i’m hoping if i just beg on the right day,they might give us a few for planting…i did lift some of the seed pods of them off the ground a few years ago and tried to incubate them,but i know nothing of that stuff,so i’m gonna talk to one of the gardeners there. i’ve slowly got into the garden over the years…never thought i would..but i like bringing something slightly off the wall to it,if i can.

      i get the feeling you and your lady are into the gardening

      yes…dave … he did that fantastic tom waits portrait for tim… i know he went to the iridium in new york too,for les paul…i went there to see jose feliciano,who had les pauls band accompany him on some songs ,shortly after les pauls passing.

      we do feel so lucky in that kitchen… i had a massive kitchen in northern ireland,but i couldn’t afford to heat it…sometimes it got so cold,i’d put my overcoat on to leave the music room to go through and make mugs of tea… i once lived in a real downbeat place in mile end as a teenager where the bath was in the kitchen with a lid on it .. years of bed sits…living out of suitcases when i was on the road in bands… i’m glad for this now …the past ,as much as it was fun, gives me the capacity to be grateful and not spoilt about it.


  4. Richard Malpas says:

    Ferns look great mixed with grasses…make sure you obtain them from a reputable source 😉 We do a bit of gardening but at present it is upside down as we are moving stuff around…shed coming down, patio digging up and re-positioning it…Lilies are wonderful.Even kept in pots the flourish…they can then be moved from place to place…but watch out for those buggers theLily Beetle…Bright scarlet, leave snotty stuff on the leaves…

    Jose Feliciano…well I bought his album Feliciano and Feliciano 10/23…pure clss…I replaced them with CD copies….I couldn’t stop playing them back in the rear-end of the sixties…

    love the shelves of sweet-jars where little Red Riding Hood is jamming on the 12 string…

    Lovely to speak to you…Take care .x

    before I go…the frame on the wall is just brilliant…really…all for nothing… 🙂


  5. Tim says:

    Still got that portrait hanging in my hall. God, GG you have a good memory. I’ll nick a few bulbs from Rich’s garden for you next time I’m passing 😉


  6. Oh, dear far-off friend, I cannot begin to tell you how each little bit of this “traditional or even hum drum” diary-style post, as you call it, has meaning for me right now. My life is changing, and I am having to let go of some old odd fears along the way in order to make those changes for the better. I woke up feeling eager to get the process moving. It’s been a hard year, and this, well this has been one of many lights along the way this past week. Thank you for sharing a view into your wonderful world. You inspire me in your quiet ways along with your music. And damn, you I was going to go looking for your song “Rocket Science” today, and here it is! Sympatico, a new word taught to me by an old new friend recently. I have no semblance of religion about me these days (happily), so don’t misunderstand when I say, bless you, you rock-and-roll bugger you. You’ve helped this guy here in his mid-life mess, just by being openly you. And you didn’t even know it.


    • oh david..you sound like you’re on board an aeroplane that’s missioning through some turbulent weather .. i do feel for you …i know these transformative experiences .. i want to ask a load of questions yet know i can’t do that here,i just know those smiling photos of you and the poetry, and what i sense is an exacting, together and tidy man, yet with a very strong wayward side…it’s a gorgeous combination of things … navigate that aeroplane well david… you are the pilot. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wow, I reread that this morning and thought, gee… I only had one drink. But yeah, I am the pilot. I’ve had to stop a bit more often to refuel. And I have been chartjng out some unknown courses. Rest assured on one litte thing though, that beautiful pianist, the kindest cutest guy I know, is still along with me for the ride. That lucky love thing is something we have in common, M. Thank you for you.


      • i am so glad to hear that david .. he is a smiler, and musical too …. the refuelling is alright y’know …it means you get to stop off at different ports along the way that you’d once have maybe flown over….we pace ourselves.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. laurieleec says:

    Loved it all Mary,..thank you for posting a peek into your life, I like beards n hats too…..you have splendid tastes in decor, and oats boxes..I too admired the shot put Scotsman! Glad you kept him for arts sake. I needed inspiration, you provided it…going thru hard times as my spouse of 40 years departed unexpectedly, in early april. We have been apart since 2003, sort of a tortured existence for us both, but there were many wonderful times in all those years leading up to my departure,,,. Old PA getting feebler, and I’ve been sorting out life in stolen moments, truly. This beats the glossy interior design mags cause it gas heart, and the film sounds great, wonder will it travel to the states? XOS, L


    • that’s a very rough start to your springtime laurie…i hope there’s an upside to that kind of change for you…but even if there is, the adjusting is still a terrible head trip … forty years is a long time… i just look forward to hearing from you in future months,cause i like to think something good will present itself in the light of this huge change… you’re a beautiful lady..let it shine, for all to see..xxx


  8. Your home is witty and beautiful, I love the fridge’s minimal contents as well as its exterior — and thanks for pointing us in Graham Knuttel’s direction too. Best wishes, Helen Lerwill


  9. I think you could offer alternative stately home tours, no problem! Love the fridge


  10. Elma says:

    Awww, you are not a train wreck. Don’t say that. You are an AMAZING guy. I love you and have loved you for so long. You are kind and sweet and your heart is angelic to me.


  11. Pingback: Saturday Songs for Mary Cigarettes – David J. Bauman

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