the years

1392766_10202210561084105_1164612582_nthere’s over thirty three years between these two photographs…i’d love to celebrate the difference,but down there in the circuit board of the personality i’m still wrestling with the same old garbage..insecurity..inferiority/superiority complexes..fear/trust..laziness/ and hate……..dear reader,it can wear you out.

on the dolly-net, a bag of nerves such as i, is inevitably drawn to those buddhist kaballah type affairs that occasionally fly up on to our screens,and the one thing that draws me in is when they talk about how life’s all about transformation…how i love that idea.the idea that i could re-wire all this old muck.there’s a deep feeling of rebellion in attempting to shake off all those conceits that’ve been passed on by the previous generations,though blaming them is of no use to anyone.they were fucked up in their turn.

if there’s one thing i’d love to become it would be more of a peoples person.i’d like to feel more comfortable around gangs of folk.i’d like to throw the doors of the house wide open and hang looser. that would be so great…i’m in awe of people who can do that.they have a natural joy about them.sunnydaze

i’ll leave you with a little thing i did an age ago…i composed a tune around a philip larkin poem,and then intercepted the meaning of it further with a clip i shot of a beautiful transexual.there’s also a recent,and freely downloadable song of mine (old banger) that seemed appropriate.

all my loving…mary of the wilderness.

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29 Responses to the years

  1. “I’d like to feel more comfortable around gangs of folk…..” that resonates!

    But if you were that kind of person would you still be creating your cool and edgy blogs and videos?


  2. Y-fronts guy says:

    I think you are a great person. I like your honesty. I shared your video on tumblr. Keep on doing what you do just as you are doing it!


  3. Julie Rex says:

    My darling mary ~ we are all perfect in our own trucked up way…you will always be my perfect Rock ‘n’ Roll Angel xXx


  4. sandi says:

    Hi,have to say you are who you are.if you changed you would’nt be the person people are honest and witty and a lot more…we love you the way you are. keep on rocking … hope you keeping ok. 🙂 xx


  5. jennydevildoll says:

    I always liked that Phil Larkin poem, cool that you set it to music. I’m listening to the other song right now, really great lyrics.


    • thanks jenny..i went through one of those philip larkin discovery phases an age ago..when i first heard that poem it jumped right out at me,and i had to know more..i loved his english low key life..working in a library,loving jazz…drab and dowdy in the eyes of many,but i figured he was totally enjoying his miserable moany trip ..lolz…i’m so glad you like the lyric to that recent song..i live to write those things xxx


  6. Marianne says:

    Weee nice pic ..remember i mailed it to you some time ago still got that lovely smile ,tho i hope not the shirt 😄😄😄 or maybe if you dig up in the very back of your closet ,you might find a box full of memories 😝😝 Wishing you a fab weekend xxx All the way from Dk


    • thank you so much marianne..i really loved you for sending me that….i can’t help thinking it was one of those gigs in blackpool at the norbreck castle..i loved that place.. girls are where the best fun,and it’s lovely to still be in contact with you. xxx


  7. Marianne says:

    You will never get rid of us 😜😜 and you know we will look after both you and your lovely man if you ever come to Cph 😄Its Vonnies fave place because we have pastries ..the real ones 😜😜xx


    • i loved copenhagen..i remember that ‘daddies’ place we you remember that?..ritchie blackmore got up and played with us…funny thing..he had a friend with him called steve,who years later was an a and r man in new york and was involved in signing me to for a second solo album on atco records…i even remember the hotel in copenhagen…it was called the mozart i think…and i loved those young musicians living in the run down tenement squats..they were very hip,yet so very copenhagen.


  8. Marianne says:

    Daddys dance hall it was ,and you stayed in a hotel just back of the central station ..
    Its still there “daddys ” but called something else ,and i assume only for the youngsters 😄😄😄
    But Christiania still serves you the young musicians ,and they do have gigs in there in open air
    At the summer times ,while serving beers and the unofficial joints 😜 so come happy or become happy 😜😜xx


  9. Marianne says:

    Regina ..the hotel was called ..omg my brain is on overtime ,or backtime 😄😄
    Just got back from bangkok and so jetlagged ( in overtime) lol


  10. m says:

    Cuddle Alert! So cute back in the day, curly locks n all… just plain gorgeous now… love that colorful street pic of you and the Music most of all! If you like wrestling, try it with the dog instead.
    Good exercise for both of you and much more fun! ; )


  11. Honestly, I think your taste in shirts has improved over time… (as has mine, to be fair…)


  12. Karen says:

    You were and still are a gorgeous,caring and fun man,(good days remembered more than 30 years on) always loved the curls though and as you used to say your’s were natural. 🙂 take care lovely xxx


  13. groomingguru says:

    Oh God, I have felt weird around groups of people all my life. Always on the periphery. I was so insecure about it but then, at 40, I just thought sod it and accepted that I wasn’t really a ‘people person’. And oh, the joy of self-awareness!


  14. Karen says:

    I told mum i’d been in touch and she sends her love xxx


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