my boyfriend


this is my boyfriend…of 25 years
i very much like this picture…mainly because of his smile.
as a younger man i found it filthy,but now it’s the underpinning sincerity and warmth that sends me.
another thing i love about this picture is his durty jeans.
there’s nothing this man loves more than rolling his sleeves up,and getting mucky in the garden.
the golden billy fields is pretty much always within the frame..
…….that politician cow,anne widdecombe was ignorant to say that homos can’t do long term relationships..
i know loads who can, and do.
apparently anne widdecombe in her 60’s is still a virgin…so she’s definitely qualified to talk about sexuality and relationships.


i first met my boyfriend in a gay leather bar when i was 29,and he was 39.
within five minutes of talking i was on the back of his motorbike heading out to hertfordshire.
i’d fallen into an affair with a lovely woman,but could no longer pretend to be what i wasn’t,and was so horny i thought i might explode.
when we arrived at his house,we ripped our crash helmets off and went straight upstairs, got down to bizzness,then afterwards went back downstairs where he met my constant craving for a nice big mug of tea.
i knew he liked me,cause he brought out the special know the a nice cardboard tube..the ones in silver foil and covered in chocolate.
i observed he had lesser biscuits too,but he laid the good ones on me.
i went back to ireland,and for ten years we conducted our relationship with one another on either side of the irish sea.
my love for him took a quantum leap the time he turned up one winter saturday morning unannounced, at the back door of my gritty little farmhouse.
he peered through the window, armed with a good bottle of champagne….and THAT smile…rosey red cheeks.


on paper i’m the last person who should be able to hold down a relationship.
i’m in a near constant state of anxiety…scared …paranoid..insecure…high maintenance…rude, if the ground gets rude…
one day recently in a moment of no self worth, i asked him…what on earth do you get from a wally like me?
he just said i bring colour into his life…but his life has plenty colour regardless of me.
his days are spent happily on farms,so his life is many mossy shades of green.
he lets me choose his jeans,and i always direct him towards the thick old school selvedge denim,with a wider leg…almost hip hop..
he just looks cute as buttons in them.
he’s not keen on shopping ,so today i asked him if i could source his clothes for him…he said yes.
he likes wearing those ‘vans’ things on his feet…which makes me smile.
 IMG_8079 - Version 2
i also have the smallest cluster of close friends.
a few musician types in ireland, scotland … england,
and this terrific california man in the hangovery photo above.
i’ve know him 25 years also.
he played guitar on my second album,and we’ve shared our rough and tumble of life ever since.
more than ever i love having a friend who is wayyyyyy smarter and capable than myself.
it raises the bar for my own behaviour…
this man has seen my scrappy annoying side,and he never looses his cool.
he gently slides the wisedom over to my side of the table with hilarious ease,
where it will be up to me to be wise enough to know what a fool i’m being.
musically he can do anything…
as a young man he played guitar for the drifters…badfinger..he’s from a new york  italian family,who came out to hollywood when he was a teenager.
he then became a session guitarist,songwriter and recording artist…played on lou reed tracks.. barbara streisand….tori amos….all sorts.
on saturday i laughed watching him serenade his lady,by singing perfect harmony to the recorded music that happened to be playing while we hung out on the balcony.
he’s born with perfect pitch , and sometimes for laughs, he hijacks the karioke ,and does  flawless frank sinatra to the gobsmacked drinkers in the bar.
great great fun. ..thinner than a matchstick,and like me,fairly indifferent to food.
here he is playing guitar on one of my songs.
when it came to the lead guitar solo,i asked him to just play one long note that would feedback forever..
and you can hear what he did..the record company hated it…said it was lightweight and arty…but they were exactly half wrong.
 here’s other of him with his girlfriend…
we’ve all just spent the weekend together,and just talked and talked and talked.
these lovebirds are the most glorious rock and roll couple..some day they hope to retire from hollywood,to live in mexico.
this fine lady started work as a young recording engineer on the runaways records,and now she does sound for big telly drama, like ‘sons of anarchy’.
they’re both techy as hell,and always time must not be wasted.
IMG_8073 - Version 2
dear reader…this is my actual wholesome side…
no one could be blamed for thinking i’m a terrible tramp,for it’s true… i surely am…
but i’m also lucky to have some very wholesome ground beneath my feet..
born out of love, music,and the smallest cluster of real friends.


mary of the singing ringing tree.


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25 Responses to my boyfriend

  1. Davey Scott says:

    Hiya Mary. I’m just loving all these memories and stories that you are sharing with us. Also I adored the recent video of you cleaning the toilet and singing your wonderful song. I totally get the “small cluster of true friends” thing. I have a few people like that and we have put up with each other through thick and thin. It’s a beautiful thing…….Take care my friend……Davey (of the left hand)


  2. davey in belfast !!! another doll with a great smile… much love to you and the lady….and the telecasters…and the ukeleles…and the million other guitars…..great to hear from you.


  3. Kerry Krishna says:

    It’s great reading about all you are doing Mary. I am a straight born again Christian guy from Canada. It’s uncomfortable reading some of your stuff, but I’ll tell ya, it’s great for me to get out of my comfort zone too. Peace and love to you my friend! You are making a difference in SO many people’s lives!


    • hi kerry … please don’t feel too uncomfortable… for i will never own a gun,or build a bomb…all i’m striving for, is to live my life to the full …i’m happy that you read these things,and get a view of a life that isn’t the same as your own…’s very generous of you to say,but i’m sure i’m not making a difference to so many peoples lives…it’s a tiny little crew of folk who read my diary…….
      warmest regards to you kerry.


  4. Beautiful. Tears here. Happy, crazy tears. =)


  5. Julie Rex says:

    That was very beautiful mary and believe me…you DO make a difference…You are my Rock ‘n’ Roll Angel…much love to you, Thomas……..and the gorgeous Billy Fields xXx


  6. Peter Routley says:

    Lovely. Just lovely 🙂


  7. Marianne says:

    If i had a garden ,i would choose your boyfriend to sort it out 🐶 he looks like the man to do just that ,
    And he shows an inner calmness and kindness ☺YES i would for sure drink tea wtih him – after he had sorted my (wish i had) garden 😄😄
    A very lovey story ,yet again 🐶 ..ohh by the way ! Love that dog also 😉
    Ta ta Tramp xx


  8. Nick says:

    Mary, what a touching and beautiful post. In so many ways. That brightened my day.


  9. Liz Munro says:

    Thank you for introducing your true friends….for sharing pics and stories about them (what a smile your boyfriend has!) …..on reading your post, gratitude sprang up for my friends help in keeping me grounded-and accepted- in good times- and especially in difficult times. Wow! Friends are so great! As is music, gardening, (as you say) -dancing, creativity, on and on….and LOVE LOVE LOVE !!
    So glad you have these good people and things in your life. As well as your sharp observations, honesty, and way with words and sounds! You are a brave and generous person… With love, Liz
    p.s. and thank you for sharing that you have anxieties and times of low self-worth…you are not alone!!


  10. Richard malpas says:

    Another interesting episode of your life and times…So very good to see someone that is happy in their relationship and enjoying life. As one episode ends the reader is then longing for the start of the next…see you next time buddy….


  11. Lyla Koral says:

    Dear Mary, I am so glad that you have found such a wonderful partner. I quite understand you moodiness, and anxiety and your constant craving for writing songs with meaningful lyrics. A small cluster of friends is perfect. That is more than enough. There is nothing more satisfying than gardening. Think if you did not meet your partner. Where would you be now? Your music should be heard by a larger audience, I know that because I feel your pain, your love and soul. Thank you for being you.


    • i treasure your kindness doesnt matter that my music escapes a larger audience…i’m grateful that anyone hears and likes it at all….i’ve just walked down through the cold chilly streets of san francisco where i saw endless homeless people looking very tired…i know i’m one of the lucky ones….so when i read your kindness,i feel like i’m truly in the lap of luxury…you are one lovely lady..thanks for your kindness. xxx


  12. Jim Ru says:

    I knew it all along. There on the fences, telling us about love.


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