final dairy entry from the southern california desert and beyond…goin home…on our way home…late november 2011

i missed my flight…i was grooving on the medical marijuana with the retired american airforce pilot

oh yes..the loverly medical marijuana..once again california is at the bleeding edge of try-outs for the human race,
over these last five years or so, they’ve opened up these medical marijuana dispensaries,which to me seem a fine idea…[all you need is a doctors prescription]
it means you can get high on nice good clean kosher weed….they’ve even got different forms and pariphinalia so you dont have to smoke it..
pill form….very potent cookies..or a wonderful vaporizor device where you inhale the heated,rather than burning gear…. less carbon y’see…i’m told willie nelson likes the vaporizor method.
i like the cookies…
naturally there’s the usual kill-joys who’d like to close down these marijuana dispensaries..
but to me they’re a fine idea…
for one thing you dont have to engage with bad dealers or get ripped off…or be around rubbish dangerous gateway drugs like gakky cocaine or crystal meth.

all you need is the doctor to issue you a card..but being european i don’t have one,though i know a few friends who have!

so i missed my bloody flight…..sasheyed up to the check-in , high as a kite and there upon learned how the plane had already taken off…
oh well…the nice man told me to hang back a moment till he got other business out of the way..he then put me on the same flight the following day with no extra charge…what a sweetheart?!
i then made a few phone calls…let thomas know what had happened, arranged to be re-hooked up with the retired stoner air pilot,and have a surprise extra night in the desert with some quality company…

two months out in the desert,and then a surprise bonus 24 hours on!!!

i was swiftly re-collected at the tiny airport and taken to the house of an 80 year old retired british embassy official who now writes erotic gay leather books..
a sweet posh english man who’s lived out in california for 40 years without loosing a single hair of his gorgeous plummy english accent..a charming randy old duck, full of life and ideas.

i felt very fortunate…rewarded rather than punished for missing my flight…

then there was the week before in lost angeles with thomas and friends,which was nothing like san francisco or the desert.[click on photos to enlarge]

the frequency is very different in lost angeles…. stoked ambition is in the air..things aren’t so laid back…more showy… it’s like the 1980’s with internet access…nervy. the thing is…lost angeles fills me with sadness,cause unlike san francisco, i’ve lived and worked there…recording music….it was an awfully terribly buggery big deal for me.. but some dreams just don’t pan when i visit lost angeles[and new york to a lesser extent] i feel like a lover who failed to deliver that all important money shot of an orgasm.. it truly crushes me..but it’s okay…possibly a blessing in disguise,cause i like my life now,and the upside of yesteryears failure means my future isn’t fossilized by the past…today and tomorrow feel wide open…the only dream now is to continue writing songs into my 60’s..and not dry up…i’m free to go anywhere in the creative sense. but i have one particular close friend here..he too has broken dreams … music is still both our callings, and we feel like brothers to each he is with me hanging out on sunset…i love this guy so much and he loves me.. he’s played on barbara striesand records..tori amos…lou reed..all sorts…a genuine talent…lovely singer and player..and he navigates himself through life very well. we get on with our respective lives….need nothing from each other, and hang beautifully together…he drives up to the desert to see me with his lady who edits the sound in movies … we do nothing but talk talk talk.

twenty odd years of warm exquisite friendship.that’s all i have to say about lost angeles…i’ve a real friend there…twenty odd years of growing and transforming together….i cherish it.

here we are.
actually i do have something to say… i was eating my breakfast at hugo’s in hollywood ,when at the next table some*artiste* sits down with what was probably his manager.. the kid was cute..twenty something…but he was being tricky…and the manager was fat and tall and seemed…well…a typical manager…getting through the day… probably coping, and hoping that a ratio of one out of ten of his exhausting charges would pull a bunny out of the top hat… deja vu…hard to watch…
went off to the beach..malibu…topanga …and that made me think about charles manson..brian wilson and his beautiful brother dennis. feasted on shrimp and drank margeritas at gladstones…thomas loves to do that.
lost angeles is alright,but from my earliest days there i was always intuitively sniffing my way out towards it’s edgier sides like silverlake….
hollywood is fine, but it’s a jivey old place.
very much looked forward to heading back over to the desert….fuuuuuuck…. here’s photos in hollywood and malibu..nice houses…or ‘containers’ as i prefer to call houses these days…
and then pictures back out in the wilds ,where i spent most of the time…
so now here i  am on the plane leaving the sunshine, headed for the english winter……nice..
and i mean IS nice…california blows wind into my sails,
but there simply comes a time where you have to go home and be happy about it…which is easy…
our container is a loving welcoming home…thomas is worldly..substantial, and we’ve been rocking together for 24 years now……billy our dog is a sweet presence…and i’m gonna enjoy the comedown…
i’m looking forward to getting back into my nocturnal routine…
this room is where you’ll find me during the winter when thomas goes to bed around ten p.m…
reading..listening…songwrting…recording…editing videos….all the things that’ll hopefully save my brain from turning to jelly through these glorious silver haired years.
 a long flight is ahead…but i have two extra strong sleeping pills that i’m about to swallow…
hello england..with your freezing hands and warm heart…insulation….. and central heating.
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4 Responses to final dairy entry from the southern california desert and beyond…goin home…on our way home…late november 2011

  1. Rab says:

    ‘…yesteryears failure means my future isn’t fossiized by the past…’

    That’s one quote that deserves to be on a t-shirt.

    Isn’t it strange/frightening/tragic how, with the all the impatience and fatalism of youth, we assume that the first thing really strive for will be the only thing we ever want?

    When I was younger I wanted to be a record contract and record sales and to be on the cover of the NME and have opinion sought on everything. I’m not a kick in the arse of those ‘glorious silver haired years’ and it’s suddenly occurred to me that actually I really don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

    Although if we’re talking about possible instant gratifications – medical marijuana sounds like a good place to start…


    • so thrilled you picked up on that rab…it only occurred to me over this last couple of years how i’ve been failing my way forward all along…for the longest time i was beating myself up about it all…something nice happened in culture over this last decade..maybe it’s credit to the internet..i dunno…but it’s now obvious to anyone over forty that you don’t have to feel like dead meat if you didn’t get the planets to line up for you in your twenties…you can continue to develop to the very end if you into things, and as long as money isn’t the sole objective….cheers good man.


  2. Pierre Skene says:

    Seems like you had another wonderful time in La California. Your pictures are (as always) pretty nice. Funny you talk about the Vaporizer. I bought one when Ben was around at the end of september. We had so much fun and everyone was totally vaporized. It’s really the way to go. I’ve never been a smoker but i’m a big Willie nelson fan now.
    Also tok one of your pics for “the page”.

    Welcome home.



  3. Tim says:

    Your blog and your life always fascinate me. And I must say that of all the great photos in this post, the last one is a perfect metaphor for your blog….portrait of the artist laid bare with STYLE.


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