funeral for a tree.

moss garden
we once had a low hanging fruity apple tree in our back garden, where upon a set of musical wind chimes rang happily in the breeze,but one day last year we woke to find it lying dead on the ground…to clear up the bomb blast, it had to be chopped up into logs where it remained far too neat and behaved for the afterlife. the conformity of those stacked logs gave me a strong desire to free the very soul of all that lovely wood. i had a vision of it rising like a phoenix from it’s own ashes as a moss and lavender garden.

yesterday when we woke, i pleaded with thomas that we make this vision real by sundown,so we missioned off to one of those garden centre places.i don’t like garden centres. they’re a gateway to the world of beige, and i can slide into a dark mood in that kind of environment,but on this day i was on a keen pursuit of tres naturelle plants..lavender..heather…moss. my heart usually belongs to the sluttier flowers… i’m prone to common things like big brightly coloured daisies,or petunias, as they are without a doubt the purple velvet whores of the flower kingdom.my favourite flower of all is the dandelion. i love everything it stands for..it is wild and looked down upon by tight arsed folk who would sooner consider it a weed,even if it is not…it is scruffy, yellow and free. we’ll be wiped out long before it will .

i am so pleased with our newborn mossy lavender garden, that i fancy when i die, some of my ashes be scattered over it…the rest to be scattered up in the high desert in california near pioneertown … maybe scatter a few spoonfuls down the durty drains of soho in london, then a final cloud of my bone dust for northern ireland,to be blown in the fresh clean air over portrush beach near where the arcadia ballroom used to be.

i’m happy to report our mission was fulfilled just as the day got dark. we argued and laughed..i kept throwing hissy fits,but under it all we were having a groovy day,while billy fields looked on bemused and amused as much as we were…the same oscar peterson long playing gramophone record repeatedly spilled out of the open living room window…i got up this morning and went directly outdoors starkers to have a look and take a picture.there is grass seed planted too, which should green things up in a few weeks…dear reader…do you like it?…isn’t it very tasteful and understated?….not like me at all.

i feel a bit uncomfortable that i’m sitting here writing about bloody gardening,and will counteract this in my next post with a story about me getting caught with my personal supply of cannabis at the airport.

here’s a new song just to remind you why i winged my way down onto this beautiful yet dangerous planet 55 years ago… heavens willing, more songs to follow.

all my loving…mary mary..extremely contrary.

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16 Responses to funeral for a tree.

  1. the rolling stones had a song about dandelions, so maybe you haven’t really gone soft.

    • they did! they did! … oh kathy..how i love that brian jones era of the stones.

      • Thomas Black says:

        Hi Gregory another quirky little story from you which I enjoyed,I smiled when you were riffing about dead trees and where you wanted your ashes scattered,reminded me to tell you that my great friend and an old acquaintance of your’s Harry Doherty passed away a few weeks ago.
        He was commissioned by QUEEN to write their official biography last year and had just completed another book on THIN LIZZY

        Just thought you might be interested.

      • oh my word..harry was more than a mere acquaintance..he figured heavily in my life. it all got a bit confusing,but i remember bumping into him after it all in the elevator at the riot house on sunset strip,and my instant reaction was to throw my arms around him…i always looked forward to him coming round to recording sessions,and leisure time afterwards…he was a fun loving man with a sparky brain..i always hoped at this stage of life i’d maybe bump into him again,and we’d just laugh…i’m very sad to hear this news…thanks thomas for letting me know.

  2. Richard malpas says:

    Love your art-work, the garden is perfect and pleasing to the eye……Not too busy. As it establishes itself and matures it will only get better…..A weed is an unwanted plant, if you love it then it is no longer a weed….long may you grow Mary of the Log-garden….Loved the song…..I love all your posts… :-)

    • thanks ritchie….it’s great that you say it’s not too busy…we mistakenly bought about six more plants than we ended up using,and we got into that thing of just trying to stuff them in there just cause we bought them,and i kept going all artistic on thomas, harping on about composition and space..but in the end we held back,and what you’ve said confirms we did the right thing….thanks ritchie…i love hearing from you…i hope calli is having a good summer with her music n’all.

  3. Richard malpas says:

    Plants should be planted in odd numbers Is, 3s or 5s…even numbers don’t look right. You have your main features; the logs and the wall. Height at the rear and work forward….maybe an odd Alpine or two here and there…..that odd-shaped hole looks inviting for any plant, not too high…The Moss is perfect, natural and living…..I’m no expert, my other half is more adept than myself….Later on you will look at this and say..’we done that..!..isn’t it a treat…”….Calli is very busy. At times the words candle and ends come to mind…but she’s happy doing what she is doing….Take care Green-fingers….out come the dust-covered Alan Titchmarsh books….new ventures……Hahahaha…:-)

    • i always loved that alan titchmarsh gardening programme..he had this woman helping him,and even though she was smart,and the show was about gardening,it was actually all about her huge voluptuous breasts…without her,the viewership wouldn’t have been so high..it was total sexual subterfuge…alan wasn’t the star ..she was.

  4. Richard malpas says:

    Hahahaha.!! Charlie Dimmock, the water-gardener…..we don’t see so much of her nowadays..
    .As for your next post, I’m quite looking forward to this. I could share an encounter, if I may high-jack your post, regarding our return visit from Amsterdam via Harwich…and one frustrated walkie-talike wielding Customs officer…..see you later…

  5. Thomas Black says:

    Hi Gregory another quirky little story from you which I enjoyed,I smiled when you were riffing about dead trees and where you wanted your ashes scattered,reminded me to tell you that my great friend and an old acquaintance of your’s Harry Doherty passed away a few weeks ago.
    He was commissioned by QUEEN to write their official biography last year and had just completed another book on THIN LIZZY

    Just thought you might be interested.

  6. Tim Ballard says:

    nothing wrong with a spot of gardening old chap. Looks nice and as Rich says, not over crowded. If you have any logs left over maybe consider making an insect haven in another corner. Designs available on the dolly net no doubt. I am currently garden less so will look forward to any updates. love to all xxx

    • you’re right tim … george harrison was big on gardening … i just don’t want to loose sight of the electric plug socket,for whenever i feel like plugging my fingers in.

  7. marceltina says:

    Nice little corner with a brick-wall back drop….kristine

  8. Richard malpas says:

    How’s it looking now..?

    • it looks alright…the grass is all grown which helps…it’ll be interesting to see how it looks in two years when other things have occurred like more moss[i hope]

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